Thursday, October 27, 2011

[we want to walk on water]... but we don't get out of the boat.

"25And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." 28 And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." 29 He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" 32And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." 
{Matthew 14: 25-33}

This past month has been just such a sweet month with the Lord. My birthday was this month, and a good friend told me to just think on what all the Lord has done over the past year and write it down, thankfully. I'm so grateful this friend had shared this with me because WOW at the movement of the Lord, and His faithfulness ringing through the entire year. It's interesting thinking back to your thought process through situations, at the beginning typically being scared out of your mind, then taking that step of faith, and receiving blessing and favor from the Lord because that's where he exactly wanted you to be. But the thing is, as many times as that happens, most of the time, we find ourselves back on the water in the boat, unwilling to get out. The fear of the unknown plagues us, and that's exactly where the enemy can stop us in our tracks. One of the worst things about that situation is that we do absolutely nothing. We are so gripped with fear that we do not move backwards or forwards, just stop. Oh, I've been there.

When graduation from undergrad was rapidly approaching last April I found myself in the position of a stand still. I had listened to the Lord and knew the route I had chosen postgrad was of my own strength and not what He intended [because I in my stubborn ways had "planned" my entire future, I seriously get a kick out of this now, what on earth was I thinking, I lost the promise of Ephesians 3:20-21 -- He can do infinitely more than I even ask or think, praise. And I honestly didn't want to do what I planned anyways]. I had found myself at the end, tired & confused. I remember a day with my Dad in Starbucks when he brought this standstill to my attention. He said, "Tay, the enemy has you right where he wants you, doing absolutely nothing, standing still in fear. What are you doing?" Until that day, I didn't even acknowledge what was going on, and I couldn't answer his question either. I had no idea. At that point I had to decided if I was going to stay in the boat, or get out and trust I was going to be able to walk on the water, with the Lord's strength, direction, and care. 

So many times we pray for opportunities for the Lord's will to be done and for Him to move in our life in amazing ways -led by His Spirit, ... and then we are just paddlin' away on the open sea, and He says "get out, and walk." Don't we often times find ourselves saying, "Well Lord, I mean I didn't think I was going to have to walk on water, I trust you, but water? really? I think I'll just move along until the next thing." In this we totally miss the blessing and favor of being able to walk. In some cases it might look like:

Lord, this city?... But I don't want to stay here.
Lord, this career?... But this isn't what I had "planned".
Lord, open my heart to this situation?... But I need to just protect myself. Vulnerability, not my thing.
Lord, you want me to do what? ... But that's totally out of my comfort zone. (what the heck is a comfort zone, anyways?!)

But, the thing is, the moment we decide to let go of all of our excuses and "plans", and step out, and let God work- it is one of the most liberating and peaceful moments we will ever find ourselves, regardless of whether we are on water or not. Fixated on His face, not the winds and the waves.

Living a life of faith is not safe. It's dangerous and requires risk, but it is GOOD. Life ABUNDANT does not sound like staying in a boat on a ocean for the rest of my life, at least to me. It's taking chances, and seeing the Lord move in ways I never dreamed of. Reminding myself not to get to comfortable in the boat, and be sensitive to what the Lord is calling me to at a moment's notice. We want to see the impossible, but we are unwilling to do the possible. Praying that I will have the faith to step, and thus walk. After all it is His hand holding us anyways. How sweet would it be if we lived everyday in that real, uninhibited expectancy?!

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