Sunday's best

Sunday's have easily become my favorite day of the week. Sabbath - something that I've been learning a lot about lately. That my soul was yearning for. That it is so important to retreat and realize that our value is not in our work, but from who we are not what we do. The createdness of ourselves in view of the Creator, not the created of our human hands. I will be the first one to admit that this slips to the back of my mind way too much. So I am fighting to protect the Sabbath and learn the importance of withdrawing, retreating, and recalibrating my heart. and that is the BEST for me.

My sweet friend, Christian, and I have started a Sunday tradition of cooking a meal and a fellowshipping with one another. It's good the soul and has also taught me so much - the significance of the table & community. It's not perfect and pretty hilarious, trial and error. It involves mostly lots of chips and salsa, wine, and laughs when the meals don't go exactly according to plan. Hey, but it's a process. A learning process. We also celebrate the process of life at the table. Even the little victories are worth celebrating. Ending a busy work, cheers to that. Overcoming a fear, cheers to that. Coming in to your own, cheers to that.

I love when the kitchen soars with the aroma of whatever we are cooking, and lots and lots of chatter. It's my happy place.

“The heart of hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard and loved. It's about declaring your table a safe zone, a place of warmth and nourishment.” -Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table, with Recipes

full swing

It's been awhile since I have been jotting in this little space. However, I have greatly missed a creative outlet. I have had a deep desire to create things lately. What better way to express the Creator than to create things, places, and relationships. The Lord has been teaching me so much about His creative nature through birthing a lot of creativity in me.

create: bring (something) into existence

Lately, me and my mister, TP, have been working on some little renovation projects. It has been so rewarding to be working with my hands, to see the process in something. So often I forget that the process is what makes something so beautiful. I have seen this is parallel my life as well. It blows my mind that I can be watching the sanding on wood, and how much the Lord speaks to me about process in that moment. As the sander smooths out the rough places in the wood, so does the Lord refine us through tough times to make us more like His Son -- and that -- is a wonderful gift.

My mom had this really old swing in the backyard that she was about to put in the trash. Over the years it had grown dingy, moldy, and honestly unusable. TP thought he would take a shot to see if there was anything he could do to help this swing.

The crazy thing about it is after one week of scraping the swing down, we found that the wood below all the grim was absolutely beautiful! I don't know how many times I count something out that is beautiful underneath -- a opportunity, a person, a situation, whatever it may be. If we had not rigged deeper we would have never known what was underneath. What we had considered a lost cause, still had so much life underneath. Sometimes we just have to take a second in our situation, in our relationship, in an opportunity were standing in, to go deeper, to not just take it at face value, but to see what is beyond.

Little did I know this little swing, that I had not even noticed in years, would minister to me so much, and now become a staple in my mom's backyard.

I yearn to see beautiful things spring out of "dead places", to come forth and declare that all is not lost, just perhaps not found. I love to see things, people, and places come to life and life to the full.

Be not afraid.

A phrase that I often take a deep breath even thinking about... There are so many things that we are faced with that causes fear- especially that of the unknown, the hidden. Let's be real, most of the time the future can absolutely terrify us. Many times we are plagued with the what-if scenarios swirling around our brain so violently until yes, we all know, it causes serious anxiety in our hearts.

However, "Be not afraid" and "fear not" are two of the most common phrases throughout the Bible. I take it here as the Lord driving a significant point not only for our minds, but our hearts. Projecting ourselves in the future from our present place actually has no efficiency, it solves nothing. Why? We don't know exactly how things will look AND we are not there yet. We try to derive answers based on estimated circumstances and it truly can end up just being a big mess of us trying to pin point the movement of God. But guess what?

"Now to him who is able to do FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY than all that we ASK or THINK, according to the power at work within us," (Ephesians 3:20)

Well this sure does put a cramp in our calculations does it not? Almighty God + FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY = way above my feeble understanding. I ultimately fall to my knees thanking the Lord for that. On most days I couldn't even come up what is best for me for that 24 hours, much less my entire life time. 

He knows us so intimately and in the now He is just asking us to know Him. Not necessarily what He can do, but just WHO HE IS. He is such an incredibly good Father. Even if we are given every single blessing we are asking for, HE IS STILL BETTER. Knowing Him is the greatest reward and all else is loss. 

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." (Philippians 3:8)

What if He perhaps is delaying our deliverance from our current situation/circumstances because He is developing a greater intimacy in us with Him? That is a game changer. A perspective shifter. To me, it's a GIFT. Thank you Lord. To know Him is the greatest reward and that is where my gaze is and should always be, even though I fall short sometimes. So I challenge myself and you to ask ourselves daily, where is our gaze?

pumpkin bread

Today, I made my most favorite seasonal pumpkin bread (from Pioneer Woman). It is the best intro to the fall. Perfect for breakfast, afternoon snack or dessert (or anytime, really).

Recipe:

3 3/4 cups flour

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 1/4 tsp cinnamon 

1/2 tsp nutmeg

3 whole eggs 

3 1/2 cups sugar 

1 1/4 cup vegetable oil 

1 1/2 tsp vanilla

29 oz. pumpkin puree 

1 bag semi-sweet choc. chips

Directions:

-large bowl: combine flour, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and baking powder

-separate large bowl: combine eggs, sugar, oil, vanilla, and pumpkin puree

-stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients 

-add chocolate chips

-transfer mix to greased bundt pan

-cook on 350 degrees 45-55 min

[The following is an incredible word I read today in "Experiencing God's Presence" by Chris Tiegreen. I hope this beautiful story encourages you as it did me]

"This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break." Genesis 32:24 

"Jacob had issues, particularly that nasty episode with his brother that had never been resolved. Years earlier, he had tricked his father into proclaiming Esau's blessing over him instead. Then Jacob fled in fear that Esau would kill him. Now, after marriage, children, and years in a far country, Jacob was returning home. He would soon see his brother face-to-face. And he feared the prospect of his past catching up with him.

Jacob was left alone in the camp, and God (as a man) came and wrestled with him all night. It's one of Scripture's strangest stories -- until we reflect on the picture and realize we've been there. There are times when we are left alone to wrestle with God, when past issues loom over our psyche and threaten to burden us with consequences and conflicts we don't want to confront. At such times, God's Presence is painful but purposeful, provoking a catharsis or cleaning from ole wounds. It can be an intense, exhausting struggle, but eventually dawn comes and we receive a blessing for having contended with God- and ourselves - face-to-face.

For your relationship with God to arrive at any depth, it has to include some sort of these wrestling matches. Old wounds must be healed, and it's sometimes a messy process. When your past and your God come face-to-face, it can sometimes be an intense encounter. But it's a necessary one, and it leads to blessing - sometimes even a new a name. The struggle lasts until dawn, but only until dawn. And with it comes a new day.

"Then the man said, 'Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!' But Jacob said, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'" Genesis 32:26

Some people see surrender as the purpose of Jacob's wrestling match with God - that Jacob had to come to the end of himself and submit to God's lordship. But there seems to be no surrender in this episode, or even a need for it. Jacob had already arrived at the end of himself, unable to face his brother in his own strength and willfulness. No, the "man" who wrestled with Jacob "saw that he would not win the match" (Genesis 32:25), and Jacob refused to let go until he was blessed... No, this wasn't about surrender; this was about contending with God and knowing His heart even in the intensity of a battle. 

God honors spiritual tenacity. His Presence can provoke turmoil within you for a time, but those who press through the struggles and hang on to faith in Him will be blessed. God has many sides to His face, and sometimes He seems to show a harsh one. But what do you really see - a harsh face or a tender heart? Whichever you see more clearly determines whether you can endure being on your back for a while, as well as what blessing you see at the dawning of the next day. Only the tenacious hold on to God in the midst of a wrestling match with Him and the relentless issues of life.

Hold on. Go ahead and wrestle; God doesn't mind. But if you've been flat on your back, keep holding on anyway. Stay in close contact with God, no matter how intense, and see into His heart. He wants to bless. He's waiting for the dawn. And He wants you to wait for it too.    "

The following is further commentary on this passage by Matthew Henry:

"A great while before day, Jacob being alone, more fully spread his fears before God in prayer. While thus employed, One in the likeness of a man wrestled with him. When the spirit helpeth our infirmities, and our earnest and vast desires can scarcely find words to utter them, and we still mean more than we can express, then prayer is indeed wrestling with God. However tried or discouraged, we shall prevail; and prevailing with Him in prayer, we shall prevail against all enemies that strive with us. Nothing requires more vigour and unceasing exertion than wrestling. It is an emblem of the true spirit of faith and prayer. Jacob kept his ground; though the struggle continued long, this did not shake his faith, nor silence his prayer. He will have a blessing, and had rather have all his bone put out of joint than go away without one. Those who would have the blessing of Christ, must resolve to take no denial. The fervent prayer is the effectual prayer."